What Does It Mean to Fumble Someone in a Relationship?

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Plus, how to tell if you’re fumbling and what to do about it

Co-authored by Marcus Pruitt, BS Reviewed by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: September 22, 2025 Fact Checked

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Meaning

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Usage

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Origin

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Signs You’re Fumbling

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What to Do If You Fumble

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Other Meanings of Fumble

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Similar Relationship Slang

Dating slang is constantly changing, and one of the newest terms is “fumble.” We’re here to help you understand what fumble means, how to tell if you’re fumbling, what to do about it, and more. Read on for a complete guide.

What does it mean to fumble someone?

When you fumble someone in a relationship, it means that you made a mistake that messed up your relationship. You’ve missed out on a good romantic prospect because you said or did the wrong thing, which caused your partner to lose interest or trust in you, and they ended the relationship.

Section 1 of 7:

What does fumble mean in relationships?

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In relationships, a fumble is a mistake that hurts the relationship. When you fumble someone in a relationship, it means that you made a mistake in your communication or actions that led to the end of the relationship. When you fumble, you’re missing out on a good romantic prospect. You can fumble anyone you’re interested in, from a crush to a partner to that one situationship where you weren’t entirely sure what the status was.^{[1]
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- Taking another person out to dinner romantically when you and a potential partner have already talked about being exclusive would be considered a fumble, especially if your potential partner is more attractive than the other person.
- Flirting with someone at the bar but failing to get their number would be considered a fumble.
- Getting to know your crush but saying something that gives them the ick would be considered fumbling.
- The term is most commonly used in football, but was first used to describe relationships on social media in the late 2010s.

Section 2 of 7:

How to Use Fumble

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Use fumble when someone does something that leads to the end of your relationship. When someone does you wrong in a relationship, like cheating, lying to you, or going behind your back, tell them that they fumbled if that’s what caused you two to split. Use it to let them know that they messed up and lost their chance with you. For example:
- Your Partner: “Babe, I’m sorry! I didn’t know taking her out to dinner was that serious! She doesn’t even compare to you!”
- You: “Obviously, it’s serious. And I know she doesn’t compare to me. Don’t be sorry now that you know you fumbled.”
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Use fumble when you make a mistake that leads to the end of your relationship. When you’re the one who cheated, lied, went behind your partner’s back, or did something else that led to the end of the relationship, say that you fumbled. The mistake could have been something you knew was wrong in the moment or something you only realized was wrong after the fact. For example:
- Your Friend: “I saw your ex’s latest Instagram post, and it seems like she’s doing good, man! She just got into law school and is moving to a new city!”
- You: “Good for her! Man, I fumbled hard. I can’t believe we broke up just because I didn’t see how amazing she was.”

Section 3 of 7:

Where does fumble come from?

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The term fumble was used to describe relationship mistakes as early as 2019. On June 10th, 2019, X (formerly Twitter) user @lucyirene_ tweeted “average a** dudes fumbling stupid bad b******. Hate to see it.” Fumble didn’t start to spread until 2021, though, when X users like @ihyjuju made tweets like “fumbling a bad b**** really the worst feeling ever,” which went viral and earned thousands of likes.^{[2]
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- Although the term gained popularity on social media, it’s also frequently used in real life.

Section 4 of 7:

How to Know If You’re Fumbling

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One sign that you’re fumbling your partner is when you two start to pull back when it comes to intimacy. While you may have once greeted each other with a kiss every morning and a hug before going about your days, when you’re fumbling, you may only be met with a brief “morning” before starting your day.^{[3]
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Research source} If that’s the case, you may want to sit down and ask them what’s going on if you don’t want to fumble.
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You start to get less attention from them. If your partner seems less interested in you than they used to be, it might be because you did or said something that upset them or gave them the ick. Try to figure out if you fumbled, which caused them to pull back.
- For example, if you two always used to text, stay on the phone for hours, and hang out, and the distance suddenly grows between you without an explanation, that may be a sign you’re fumbling.^{[4]
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They flirt with other people in front of you. According to dating coach Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT, if you notice a girl you’re talking to flirting with your friends or other people around you and not really giving you much attention, that’s a sign she’s not interested.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Interview} When someone flirts with other people in front of you, they’re either trying to make you jealous or show you that they no longer want to be with you. Think about what you might have done to fumble the relationship.
- If they’re flirting with other people to make you jealous, confront them and have a conversation with them about it. Tell them how it makes you feel and kindly ask that they stop if you two are exclusive.
- Think about why you’re fumbling in this case. Ask yourself what led them to want to pursue other people. Consider whether any of your actions played a part in the fumble.

Section 5 of 7:

What to Do If You Fumble

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To get the person you fumbled back, focus on improving yourself. If you fumbled someone, there’s something you did to cause an issue in the relationship. So, to prove that you’re worth getting back with, focus on improving yourself to be a better person. For example, if you treated the person badly, focus on learning how to treat people kindly and respect boundaries in a relationship.^{[6]
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- Don’t improve just to get the person back—improve for your own sake, too! The person you fumbled may notice if you’re just trying to win them over, which can seem insincere.
- If you fumbled because you were using them for money, get a job, learn money management, and pay for yourself. This will show that you’ve improved in that regard.
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To move on, put yourself back out there, meet new people, and connect with yourself. Whether you fumbled someone you just started talking to or your partner of a few months, put yourself back into the dating scene if you want to move on. Strike up conversations with people you find attractive. Or sign up for dating apps and start swiping. Take the time to focus on yourself, too. Get into some new hobbies and figure out what you’re interested in.^{[7]
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- If you aren’t ready to see other people, take yourself on dates and do things that you love to keep your mind off the person you fumbled.

Section 6 of 7:

Other Meanings of Fumble

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Fumble also means to drop the ball. This meaning is most popular in football, as it refers to a player dropping the ball. It is also used as a term for any type of mistake that is considered a ball drop. For example, if you were about to secure a deal at work that nets you a lot of money but made a mistake that led to the deal being withdrawn, you fumbled the bag.^{[8]
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- Example: “Did you see how he finished his presentation? You can tell he didn’t study. Dude fumbled.”
- As a slang term, this meaning gained traction outside of football in 2017 when the rap group Migos rapped “you get the bag and fumble it” on their song “I Get The Bag.”^{[9]
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Fumble also means to awkwardly handle something. For example, if you’re looking for a key in the cold and your hands are shaking, making the keys hard to hold or get a grip on, you’re fumbling with your keys.^{[10]
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- Example: “Dude in the movie was so scared. He got to the door two minutes before the killer and spent the whole time fumbling with his keys. By the time the killer caught up to him, it was too late.”

Section 7 of 7:

Other Relationship Slang Terms

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Roster In relationships, a roster refers to a group of romantic prospects a person is currently talking to. These people usually don’t know about each other, and they tend to serve different purposes for the person with the roster. For example, a roster may consist of one person for lavish dates, another person for physical intimacy, and another for emotional intimacy.^{[11]
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Benching In relationships, benching is when you keep someone as a back-up on your roster because you’re interested in someone else. While benching does prioritize the person you’re currently interested in, it also makes the other people on your roster feel like a second choice, especially if you’re inconsistent or rarely available.^{[12]
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Rizz Rizz refers to romantic charisma or charm. It usually denotes how charismatic or charming a person is. For example, if someone is really good at getting dates with people and building romantic relationships with them, they have a lot of rizz.^{[13]
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Hard Launch In relationships, a hard launch is a clear, intentional announcement and reveal of a new partner on social media. It’s usually through a picture or video that shows off your partner. A hard launch can be an Instagram story of you and your new partner, or it can be a TikTok post showing off your partner in all their glory.^{[14]
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