17 Ways to Find Out If She Loves You or Wants to Be Friends

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From obvious flirting to subtle expressions of love

Co-authored by John Keegan and Elaine Heredia, BA

Last Updated: July 25, 2025 Fact Checked

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It can be challenging to know if a girl loves you or just wants to be friends. Some girls are subtle with their signals or too shy to be direct, leaving guys wondering what to do next. We're here to help you take the guesswork out of this awkward situation, so you'll finally know where you stand with your female friend! Keep reading to learn the top signs to look for to figure out if a girl loves you, with advice from relationship and dating experts.

Top Signs She's in Love with You

She makes frequent eye contact with you.
She twirls her hair while talking to you.
She finds reasons to touch you or leans into your touch.
She responds quickly to most or all of your texts.
She texts you a lot of cute emojis (e.g., hearts, heart eyes, etc.)
She laughs at all your jokes (even the unfunny ones).
She's nicer, shyer, or more intimate with you than with her other guy friends.

1

She makes regular eye contact.

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If she can't take her eyes off you, she might be really into you. Notice how often she looks at you when you're chatting on a video call or hanging out together. If it seems like her gaze falls on you a lot, even when you're not speaking, certified professional matchmaker Shana Tibi says that's a sign of romantic interest.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview}
- On the other hand, if she only looks at you when you're talking or avoids all eye contact, her feelings for you may only be platonic.
- Look for triangulation. Triangulation describes a pattern of eye movement that is a strong indicator that a girl is into you. She will look at one of your eyes, then the other, then your mouth, and then repeat the sequence.^{[2]
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Meet the wikiHow Experts

Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Her specialty is understanding clients' values and personal preferences to curate the best dates.

John Keegan is a Dating Coach with 15 years of professional experience. He helps people find love using his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics.

Candice Mostisser is a Relationship Coach who works for NYC Wingwoman, LLC. She coaches people in the best practices for succeeding in first dates and online dating.

Connell Barrett is a Dating Coach and the Founder of Dating Transformation in New York City. He has 5 years of experience helping men connect with women by unlocking their best, most confident selves.

2

She plays with her hair.

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Hair twirling is a classic sign that a girl is into you. It's one of the oldest flirting techniques in the book for women, according to dating coach John Keegan.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} There are even studies that show that women who want to get a man's interest will flip their hair. So if you see this kind of behavior from a woman you suspect likes you, take it as a good sign!^{[4]
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3

She leans toward you.

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Touching you or pointing her body at you can be signs of attraction. If a girl is "leaning closer" to you, "reciprocating your touch," or leaning into you when you "grab their hand, or you put your arm close to them," then she may see you as more than a friend, says Keegan.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Relationship coach Candice Mostisser also suggests checking if her knees are pointed toward you when you're sitting at a table, as that's a subtle way to tell that she likes you romantically.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Candice Mostisser
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview}
- If she doesn't touch you at all or turns away from you most of the time, that could either be a sign that she only thinks of you as a friend or that she's shy.

4

She responds quickly to your messages.

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A fast reply might mean she's hanging on your every word. According to Tibi, responding to your texts in a timely manner can be a form of flirting!^{[7]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview} While this may not be the case if she only answers promptly once in a while, if her responses are always quick, she clearly prioritizes your messages. That could mean that she thinks of you as more than "just a friend."

5

She texts you cute emojis.

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If she uses a lot of "cute emojis," like hearts, heart eyes, or blushing faces, she's most likely into you, says Tibi.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview} Don't be afraid to send a few emojis back yourself to show that you're just as interested!

6

She laughs at all your jokes.

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If she loves you, she'll laugh even if your jokes aren't funny. This is an unconscious (and scientifically proven!) way for someone to say, "I really like you, and I love listening to you talk."^{[9]
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Research source} It's also a sign she's really comfortable around you, says Keegan, which is exactly how a romantic partner is supposed to feel.^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}

7

She wants to know more about you.

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Depending on how shy she is or how open your friendship is, she might ask you for this information directly or fish it out of a mutual friend. You might also notice her liking old posts on your social media pages, a clear indication that she's looking through your past for clues about what kind of person you are.

8

She shares personal information with you.

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She reveals secrets that she doesn't tell other people. For example, she might open up about a past relationship or a traumatic experience. She might also share her dreams and ambitions with you, even the ones she thinks aren't attainable or that others have told her are silly. Consider yourself lucky if she does, since it's obvious that she trusts you deeply and respects your opinion of her.

9

She treats you differently from her other friends.

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If she likes you, she'll probably act shyer or blush when you're around. If her behavior is no different, though, chances are she just wants to be friends.

10

She sticks with you in a group.

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She might give you more attention than anyone else if she loves you. If a girl has a crush on you, she'll probably talk to you and spend more time with you, even when you're hanging out with other friends as a group. She might also single you out to be her partner when you play games or go dancing. This means she enjoys and feels safe being around you more than anyone else.^{[11]
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- Keep in mind that she might also give you more attention because you're the only person she knows or the one she likes talking to the best. In that case, she may see you as just a good friend and not as her crush.

11

She teases you.

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Keegan says that when a girl teases a guy, it means "They like you and… feel comfortable around you. And they're testing you to see if you're having fun."^{[12]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} If, on the other hand, she jokes around with you the same way she does with everyone else, you might not be more than a good friend in her eyes.

12

She remembers your interests.

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She may love you if she cares about your likes and dislikes. If a girl has romantic feelings for you, she'll often remember specific details about what you say. For example, she might remember when you said you prefer chicken to steak, or keep track of all your favorite songs.^{[13]
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13

Her friends show interest in you.

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If they show a sudden interest in you or ask you a lot of personal questions, chances are they're trying to get to know you better because their friend has strong feelings for you. Your spidey senses should definitely start tingling if they tease you about romance when she's around!

14

She says positive things about you.

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She may express her feelings in subtler ways than "I love you." When a girl likes you, she may indirectly say it when you hang out. Here are some phrases she might use that show she's interested:
- "I love spending time with you."
- "You're my favorite person."
- "You are so funny."

15

She initiates the conversation.

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If a girl always starts a conversation with you, especially if she has no other reason to reach out, she probably wants to be more than friends! Other great signs are random text messages like "Hey" or "I've been thinking about you."^{[14]
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16

She's open to talking about love and romance.

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Try to tease her feelings out by talking about relationships. If you don't want to come straight out and ask how she feels about you, then ask questions about love and relationships. If your questions are specific enough, she might get the hint and give a bigger sign if she's interested or not. Here are some questions you can ask:
- "How do you feel about falling in love?"
- "Do you think people can fall in love after being good friends?"
- If she smiles and touches you when she answers, you may interpret it as a hopeful sign and continue the conversation.
- If she doesn't make eye contact and leans away, she might be uncomfortable. This could be a sign she's not into you, so you might want to change the subject.

17

She goes out of her way for you.

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For example, if you're going out of town, she might offer to feed your pets or pick up your mail for you. If you're eating with friends, she might dab a food stain from your mouth with a napkin or offer to share her dessert with you. These gestures aren't just her being kind and considerate. She's trying to show you how much she cares about you with actions instead of words.

18

Your mutual friends know how she feels.

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She may have told your mutual friend how she feels about you already. If you're too nervous to directly (or indirectly) ask a girl if she has feelings for you, casually ask a friend she's close to. Be aware that once you start talking to her friends, they'll likely report what you said back to her. Here are some casual questions you can ask:
- "Do you know if she likes anyone?"
- "Does she ever talk about dating?"
- Reader Poll: We asked 1707 wikiHow readers who they go to when they need advice, and 61% said that they reach out to their best friend. [Take Poll]

19

She puts herself in a position to be asked out.

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For example, when everyone in your friend group is sharing their plans for the weekend, she might say, "I don't have anything going on." She might even hint at what kind of date she would prefer by saying something like, "Oh, that new dinosaur movie is in theaters, but I hate going alone."

20

She's willing to go on a date with you.

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The way she responds might tell you how she feels. Build up your courage and ask her to see a movie or grab dinner. If she says "Yes" and dresses up or puts on more makeup than usual, she's likely trying to impress you. A girl who loves you will want to stand out in your eyes by looking great. If she says "Yes," but doesn't put a special effort into her appearance or show any of the other signs on this list, she may just have accepted your invitation as a friend.
- If she says "No" without trying to reschedule, that's your cue to retreat. She's probably not that into you.
- You'll really know she's not interested if she mentions having a boyfriend. In that case, says dating coach Connell Barrett, the best response is to back off or try to be just friends, nothing more.^{[15]
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  Connell Barrett
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview}

21

She reciprocates when you tell her how you feel.

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Stop beating around the bush and be direct. It's okay to ask someone if they like you.^{[16]
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Research source} It may seem embarrassing at first, but if she cares about you, either as a friend or something more, she'll appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to be honest. Here are some ways you can ask:
- "How do you feel about me?"
- "Do you see me as a friend, or do you see me becoming something more?"
EXPERT TIP

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Tell her how you feel. It's not always easy to be honest with someone about your feelings, but telling her how you feel towards her is the best way to get a straightforward answer. Even if you don't get the response that you want, at least you'll know how she feels, too.