This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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The media and society are constantly pushing the message that you’ve gotta be a jacked guy to be hot—but are women really drawn to bulky dudes across the board, or do the Pete Davidsons and Timothée Chalamets of the world have more to offer than their personalities? The answer is yes, they do—girls really do like skinny guys! Keep reading to find out why, plus take a deep dive with us into the science of attraction to find out what really drives the ladies wild.
Things You Should Know
- Women like skinny guys, but they’re drawn to personality over looks: being confident and kind are more important than being physically attractive.
- Ladies may be drawn to skinny guys because they tend to live longer and be healthier than heavier guys, and because they may perceive skinny guys as more confident.
- You can feel (and therefore become) more attractive by practicing personal grooming, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and smiling.
Steps
How to Be More Physically Attractive (No Matter Your Weight)
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Stay well-groomed. Luring the ladies might be as simple as just being more intentional about your looks. Being well-groomed doesn’t mean shelling out money for a new wardrobe or getting a makeover to match what you think women want you to look like. It just means showering regularly, combing your hair, and putting a little thought into your wardrobe now and then.[9]
- What’s more, spending a few extra minutes on your appearance each morning is likely to boost your self-esteem, which will make you more attractive on its own.
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Smile more. If you think you’ve got to be a stoic, scowling manly man in order to be attractive, think again: across the board, people of all genders and orientations find a great smile totally swoon-worthy. Like personal grooming, general pleasantness—including a nice, easy smile and a friendly attitude—can affect how attractive you come off to others.[10]
- In fact, despite stereotypes about masculinity being linked to large genitalia, studies show a nice smile is more important to women than genitalia (and speaking of genitalia, most women aren’t actually on the hunt for a large package).[11]
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Exercise regularly. Try to get about 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic exercise a week (or 150 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise), and strength train all your major muscle groups 2 days a week.[12] Mind you, we’re not telling you to work out to bulk up—moving your body is about staying healthy and feeling good, 2 qualities that’ll draw the ladies.
- Whatever makes you feel confident and happy makes you more attractive, so whether women are looking for Arnold Schwarzenegger or Timothée Chalamet, if you feel good bulking up, then bulk up!
- Great forms of aerobic activity include running, dancing, and swimming.
- When strength training, try to target all your major muscle groups, with one set of 15 reps for each muscle group.
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Eat a healthy diet. Like exercising, eating a healthy diet can make you happier, healthier, and more confident, which can make you more attractive to others. A “healthy diet” looks different to different people, but whether your goal is to bulk up or just practice healthy eating habits, try to implement a diet rich in plant-based foods, lean proteins, and complex carbs and low in simple carbs and processed foods.[13]
- If you want to maintain your current weight, generally try to burn as many calories as you consume each day—which, for the average person, is about 2000 calories. Food tracking apps like My Fitness Pal can help you track your daily caloric intake as well as make sure you’re getting enough nutrients.
- If you’re looking to bulk up, you may want to add more calories to your daily diet, as well as eats lots of lean protein.[14]
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW.
References
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3134786/
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1985-14553-001
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1068/p6423
- ↑ https://journals.plos.org/plosgenetics/article?id=10.1371/journal.pgen.1007603
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hus/2017/015.pdf
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK573068/
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28470486/
- ↑ https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/537867
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-997-1013-0
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-997-1013-0
- ↑ https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/expert-answers/exercise/faq-20057916
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/healthy-foods-to-eat-every-day/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29490578
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview