How to Deal with Soreness After Sex

Co-authored by Nicole Moore and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: June 13, 2022 References

Sex may be an indescribable experience, but the soreness that comes after can definitely be put into words. Vaginal soreness can be a really tough, uncomfortable thing to talk about. Don’t worry—you’re not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people have similar concerns about this topic—take a peek below for some potential answers to your questions.

Question 1 of 6:

Why do I get so sore after sex?

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Sex involves a lot of friction, which can take its toll once you and your partner are both finished. If you didn’t use lube before getting intimate, the friction might have created a few small tears in that area.
If your significant other is pretty well-endowed down there or is using a really big toy, they might have touched your cervix while you were both getting intimate. According to experts, this can feel similar to having cramps, and it might be causing your soreness the morning after.

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Rough sex is big turn-on for some couples, but it can lead to some issues after-the-fact. Really rough sex tends to create a lot of friction, which can lead to some soreness in the days after.
Many condoms are made with latex. If you’re feeling sore after the fact, a latex allergy could be making that area feeling pretty sore and inflamed. If you think you’re allergic to latex, use polyurethane condoms instead of traditional latex ones. However, these condoms are a bit more fragile, and are more likely to break or slip off.^{[1]
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You have an infection or other underlying condition. Yeast infections, STIs, bacterial vaginosis, and other infections might be leaving you uncomfortable and sore. With an infection, you’ll probably notice other physical symptoms, like discharge, a burning sensation, and general discomfort.^{[2]
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Research source} Other conditions, like endometriosis, may be causing a little extra pain after you have sex.^{[3]
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- If you’re having trouble figuring out the cause of your pain, schedule an appointment with your gynecologist. They can help you pinpoint what’s going on.
- Endometriosis is when the lining on your uterus grows along the outside of your uterus, like your ovaries and fallopian tubes. If you have really painful or heavy periods, you might have endometriosis.^{[4]
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Question 2 of 6:

How do I treat soreness after sex?

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Use a heating pad or take a warm bath. A little bit of heat can help soothe away the pain. Relax and unwind in a warm bath, or rest a heating pad over the sore area for a few minutes to give yourself some relief.^{[5]
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- Only use a heating pad for 15-20 minutes at a time. Set it to low or medium heat, which will soothe pain away.^{[6]
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Grab a bottle of ibuprofen or Motrin and take the recommended dose listed on the bottle. These medications can help ease away some of the pain.
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Ice the sore area if the pain is really bad. If your entrance to your vagina, or vulva, is looking pretty swollen, place a couple of ice cubes in a clean rag or baggie. Slip on a comfortable pair of underwear, and place the ice pack along the outside of your vulva, using the cloth as a buffer. Keep the ice in place for 10-15 minutes and see if you notice any improvements.
- Don’t put any ice inside of your vagina—this will just make the soreness worse.
Don’t assume you have an infection—instead, tell a gynecologist how you’re feeling and see what they have to say. If an infection is the main cause of your soreness, prescription medicine might be the best way to treat it.^{[7]
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Question 3 of 6:

How long does the pain last after sex?

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Unfortunately, there’s no hard and fast rule to how long your soreness will stick around. If you have a few small tears, they should heal up within a few days. If you have a larger, bleeding tear, it might take weeks for the area to heal.^{[8]
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Research source} In general, give yourself a few days to heal up and recover—if you’re still feeling sore, meet with your gynecologist.^{[9]
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Question 4 of 6:

What do I do if the pain doesn’t go away?

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Ask your gynecologist for a recommendation. If your vagina is still sore several days after sex, there might be something more serious at play. Call up your gynecologist and see if you can schedule a consultation. They’ll be able to take a closer look and let you know what the problem is.^{[10]
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- It can be a little awkward to discuss this kind of topic with your gynecologist. Remember—you have nothing to be ashamed of. Your gynecologist is there to help!

Question 5 of 6:

How can I prevent pain in the future?

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Dedicate extra time to foreplay and getting lubed up. Your body will produce its own natural lube when you feel aroused. Don’t feel like you need to rush—take as much time as you need with your partner beforehand. If you’re still feeling a little dry, use a little extra lube before getting intimate.
- When you feel aroused, your vagina becomes a bit wider, which can help if your partner is pretty well-endowed.
There’s no need to rush! Even if you and your partner enjoy rough sex, start off at a slower pace before picking up speed. Give yourself a little bit of time to adjust, so you won’t feel quite as sore after being intimate.
Issues like endometriosis can make your sex life painful. Your gynecologist might have some suggestions or treatments to help you better cope with the pain.^{[11]
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Question 6 of 6:

How do you get rid of vaginal pain during sex?

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Talk with your partner about trying some new things in the bedroom. A new position might help reduce some of the pain. For instance, if you’re usually on the bottom, ask your partner if you can try being on top next time around—this might give a little more control, and help you find a rhythm that works well for you.
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Let your partner know if something isn’t working. Be honest if you’re feeling some pain during your intimate moments. If things are going too fast, let your partner know! Slower sex might help cut back on some of the pain.
- Alternatively, you can talk to your partner about oral sex.^{[12]
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- Be clear about what you want to be different and why.^{[14]
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- For example, do you want more frequency of oral sex or use some different moves.^{[16]
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Tips

Pain from sex might be stemming from an emotional problem instead of a purely physical one. Talk to your partner about trying sex therapy if you think it would help.^{[18]
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Talk to your gynecologist about trying desensitization therapy. This type of therapy teaches you how to relax your vagina, and might help reduce some of the pain you feel during sex.^{[19]
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Warnings

Vaginal dryness can occur during or after menopause, which might be leading to some extra soreness. You can treat this with special liquid beads, which are sold at most grocery stores.^{[20]
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