The Best Ways to Caress a Woman & Turn Her On

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The tender touches that will make her heart race

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: September 26, 2025 Fact Checked

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Caressing Her Face and Neck

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Caressing Her Body

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While you may feel like you're an expert at kissing a woman or holding her hand—do you really know how to caress her? Caressing a woman is a way to show her how much you love her, and it doesn't have to be sexual! Keep reading to learn how to romantically caress a woman’s face and body, with expert insights from dating coach Eddy Baller.

Expert Tips on Caressing a Woman

Dating coach Eddy Baller says to touch her lips softly with yours. Gently run your fingers along the sides of her face and stroke her hair. Use her hands or hips to pull her towards you, and warm her knee or thigh with the touch of your palm. Wherever you touch her, make sure you have her consent.

Section 1 of 2:

Caressing Her Face and Neck

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1
Gently brush her lips with yours. When you lean in for a kiss, don’t try to plant your lips on hers and ram your tongue in her mouth. Instead, be gentle and take things slowly, especially at first. Move in to give her a soft kiss. Hold the kiss for a few seconds, and caress both the top and bottom lip to show her how much you enjoy kissing her.^{[1]
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- A lot of people look at kissing as a move that just leads to something else. Instead, treat kissing like it's a unique pleasure instead of making her think that all you want is more.
- Baller says, “If you're just starting the kiss, usually the hips are a great spot [to grab]. You can pull her in by the hips.”^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview} As long as she consents, spice things up by touching other areas of her body.
Meet the wikiHow Expert

Eddy Baller is a dating coach and the owner of Conquer and Win, a dating consulting and coaching service based in Vancouver, Canada.
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Stroke the sides of her face with your hands while you're kissing. As you kiss the woman, hold her face with one or both of your hands. Don't grab her face at once, but slowly ease into the gesture so it feels more natural. Gently place a hand on the side of her face and stroke her cheek, her ear, her hair, and the side of her face along the jawline. This will likely make her feel loved and will even bring its own pleasure.^{[3]
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- Don’t kiss her this same way every single time. Instead, surprise her with this intimate gesture when the moment feels right.
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Touch her ears. While you're kissing, gently touch her earlobes, the sides of her ear, and the area behind her ears. Do this slowly and gently, as you're cupping her face. Slide your hand under her hair, and stroke her ear as you continue to kiss. A woman's earlobes don't get nearly enough attention, and lots of women love this.
- If you're already intimate, try brushing your lips along her ears.
- This is almost always a great move, but pay attention to her body language to see how she likes having her ears touched. Some women's ears are so sensitive that they prefer that you don't touch them!
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Caress her neck. The neck is another place many women love being touched. Gently stroke the sides of her neck while you're talking, kissing, or simply looking at each other. Toss her hair back so you can caress her neck a bit more, and run the sides of your fingers up and down her neck, down to the base of her shoulder, and all the way up to her earlobe.^{[4]
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- If you're doing this while standing behind her, try blowing a little bit of hot air onto her neck for added pleasure.
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Run your fingers through her hair. Stroking her hair is another wonderful caressing gesture. Gently stroke the back of her head and massage her scalp, run your fingers through strands of her hair playfully, or even brush the hair away from her eyes as you look into her eyes, leading her to want something more. Stroke her hair as a way to also touch her cheeks, her earlobes, and her neck, and eventually to give her a kiss she won’t forget!
- Tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear—this may give you an excuse to give her ears an extra caress.
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Lightly graze her lips with your finger to tease her. Caressing a woman's lips before you kiss her is another sensual gesture that she’ll likely love. Before you go in for the kiss, tease her a little by pulling back and running a finger along her lips. Give her a subtle smile, then lean in and give her a kiss in the place you just touched. Chances are, she will be touched and surprised by this form of caress.^{[5]
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- Give her a gentle kiss, pull away, stroke her lips with your finger, and then lean in for another kiss.
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Section 2 of 2:

Caressing Her Body

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1
Hold her hands in yours. Early in the relationship, caressing a woman's hands can be one of the safest and most intimate places to go. There's a difference between simply holding a woman’s hand, and gently touching, stroking, and massaging her fingers and palms. If you and the woman are on a hand-holding or touching basis, then gently touch one or both of her hands to show her how loving and gentle you can be. Baller says, “You can grab her hand and pull her in [during a kiss].” Here are some other romantic touches you can try:^{[6]
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Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}
- Lightly trace a circle in her palm.^{[7]
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  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  
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- Gently hold onto one of her fingers with two of yours and stroke it up and down.
- Massage her palm, knuckles, and outer hands.
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Rub her shoulders. If she is wearing a top that reveals her shoulders, run your hands along them. Gently touch her shoulder with the tips of your fingers, then stroke them downward with a bit more force to give her a nice shoulder massage. Run one finger along her shoulder to give her an extra bit of excitement. Remember that you don't have to kiss a woman to caress her shoulders or any other part of her body—this gesture can be intimate and special enough on its own!
- Many women love to get massages. If you're alone and the mood strikes you, use both hands to firmly push into the area above her shoulder blades to knead out some of the tension in her body.
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Rest your hand on her knee. The knee is another part of a woman's body that is overlooked all too often. If she is wearing a skirt or dress, she may appreciate the warmth of your hand on her soft skin. Run your finger down into the bend of her knee. This is one of the many erogenous zones on a woman's body. Just don't try this move when it's hot out—she may sweat there a little and not want to be touched then.^{[8]
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- Another way to caress a woman's knee is by lightly stroking it when you're sitting down, even if she's wearing pants.
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Run your fingers up the length of her thigh. If you know she is willing, slowly run your hand along the top of her leg, then down along her thigh. This can be a sexual move that leads to more, or you can just touch her thighs for the sake of it. You should be pretty familiar with each other for you to try this move, though. Don't think she'll be okay with it just because you've reached the kissing phase. Remember: consent is the most important thing when developing your physical relationship!
- When you're caressing her thigh, use a light touch instead of a squeezing motion, or she may feel a little overwhelmed.
- Reader Poll: We asked 866 wikiHow readers if they like lingerie on women, and 76% said said yes. [Take Poll]
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Wrap your arms around her back and shoulders from behind. You don't always have to be kissing or facing each other to caress a woman. Stand behind her and gently touch both of her shoulders, resting your head next to hers. Move your hands along her neck and shoulders with gentle and loving motions.^{[9]
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- Another option is to leave one hand more firmly placed on her shoulder while sliding the other hand down her back, along the sides of her neck, and even down her arms.
Stand behind the woman, move her hair to the side, and kiss the back of her neck while you move an arm to the bend of her waist. Move your fingers up and down gently, like you're kneading her. This is a place where many women—as long as you're on intimate terms—enjoy being touched. Baller adds that physical touch is most successful and pleasurable when both people are perfectly in tune: “You want to match your partner. So, whatever her movements are, it should be like the yin and yang, the way you fit together. If it's uncomfortable or awkward—that's not good.” He advises that you “look at it like puzzle pieces.”^{[10]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}
7
Linger on the small of her back while you're hugging. In general, women enjoy feeling the gentle affection of their partner’s love. Embrace your woman for a long time, but try to keep things interesting. Without getting too handsy, place one hand on the small of her back and gently move it up and down. This will make your woman feel loved, and if she's upset, it may help comfort her.
- Place your hand on the small of her back when you're walking somewhere to lead her forward.
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Tenderly press on the inside of her wrist. If you're sitting down and holding hands, gently stroke the inside of her wrist. This is a very sensitive area, and she’ll likely experience a tinge of pleasure when you touch her here. You can even trace a circle around her palm and then make your way down to her wrist. Then, stroke her forearms and up to the crooks of her elbows.
- Make sure she’s not super ticklish! If she is, then she won't be feeling much pleasure. You want to keep your touch light but meaningful.
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Gently run your hand along her spine. Tracing the area of her spine above her lower back, up to her neck, and back down again can often make a woman feel more than a bit of pleasure. This is a very intimate gesture, and it'll really send the message if you do it while you're hugging or holding each other. Try it when you're giving her a kiss, too!
- This works best when she is wearing a dress or another garment that allows you to easily trace her spine.
- When you reach the bottom of her neck, give her a kiss in that area.
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Massage her feet. There are few things that many women love more than a good foot rub. The next time you're alone, have her lie or sit down and place one of her feet in your hands. Then, gently massage the soles of her feet, the knuckles of her toes, the pads of her toes and feet, and even the area on the top of her foot. Be very gentle at first because her feet may be sore, especially if she's been on them all day. Work your way up to massaging them more thoroughly by kneading her feet with your fingers.^{[11]
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Harvard Medical School
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- If you really want to give her a good foot massage, rub some oil or lotion onto your hands.
This is a more sexual area, but if you're at that point with the woman, then sometimes nothing’s better than gently caressing her navel! Gently trace the area around her navel and then move your hands slightly up or down to prolong the pleasure. Caress other parts of her body and then return to the navel to really drive her wild.

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Can I take a girl home on my first date?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Statistically, that will not work out well for you because less than 10% of the couples who have sex within the first three dates make it through a year. The second reason is safety, and at this point, even health. People of all age groups need to feel comfortable before doing it.

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Is it okay to kiss a girl on the first date?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Kissing a girl on the first date is inappropriate. People feel that they need more information before doing that. It takes three first dates to do it.

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How can I get close to a girl on a date?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

You can do certain things to make the girl feel more comfortable, like open the door for her and offer her a compliment. Then you can sit close to her and touch her hand a bit.

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Take your time holding and caressing her. It will relax her and open her up for more exciting things.

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Learn where her erogenous zones are located on her body. She will love you for it, and you will enjoy discovering them!

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Remember: consent is the most important thing. Ask her ahead of time if she’s okay with you touching her. Even if she says yes, but doesn't seem into any of it once you start, stop and talk about it.

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Some girls are more sensitive about touch. Try to pay attention to how she reacts when you touch her.
Try to slow at first and what she likes and dislikes. Remember that all girls are different.

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