How to Ask Someone to Kiss You

Co-authored by Imad Jbara and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: May 6, 2025 References

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You’re out on a date and it’s going super well—but now it’s time to say goodbye. If you really want to lean in for the kiss but you aren’t sure how, you’re not alone! Simply going for it can be a little intimidating, and it’s always good to check your date’s comfort levels and ask permission before taking the next step. There are a lot of different ways you can ask a girl or guy to kiss you–on the date or even over text–so pick the one that feels right for you.

1

Try sincerity for a heartfelt option.

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If you had a really good time on your date, tell them that! Then, follow up with the question about a kiss. Try something like:
- “This was so much fun, thanks for taking me out tonight. Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
- “I had a really good time tonight, I hope we can see each other again. Can I kiss you?”

2

Be straight up to avoid confusion.

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With this option, there’s no way your date can misunderstand you. Keep it straight and to the point so your date knows what you’re after.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} For example:^{[2]
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- “Can I kiss you?”
- “Would it be okay if I kissed you now?”

3

Tell your date that you’re feeling nervous.

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Your date’s probably nervous too! You can ask them indirectly with a cute question that shows off your vulnerability. Try something like:^{[3]
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- “I’d really love to kiss you now, but I’m too nervous to even ask!”
- “Here comes the nerve-wracking part: can I kiss you?”

4

Get a little flirty to have fun with it.

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Try some humor to lighten the mood. You can ask your question in a fun, flirty way to let your date know that you’re cool and casual.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Try something like:^{[5]
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- “Welcome to kissville: population, us?”
- “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

5

Ask about their comfort levels.

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You always want to make sure your date is feeling the romantic mood as much as you are. If you can’t tell, simply ask them with a question like:^{[6]
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- “I would love to kiss you right now, if you’re into it. Is that okay?”
- “How comfortable would you be with kissing right now?”

6

Turn it around on them.

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If you’re picking up on flirtatious body language, ask your date if they’d like to kiss you. You can inject a little humor into the situation so it doesn’t seem as serious, too.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Try something like:^{[8]
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- “You want to kiss me, don’t you?”
- “I can tell that you want to kiss me right now.”
- “If you’re going to ask me about a kiss, the answer is yes.”

7

Ask what they’d like to do.

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This will give you a good indication of your date’s comfort levels. You can get specific or leave it broad to get an idea of what your date wants to do. Try something like:^{[9]
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- “Would you like me to lean in and kiss you right now?”
- “How would you like to end this date?”

8

Tell them to kiss you.

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Being bold is a turn-on for most people. If you’re tired of beating around the bush, just tell your date straight up that you’re open to a kiss. For example:^{[10]
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- “I want you to kiss me.”
- “Please kiss me now.”

9

Draw attention to your lips.

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Build anticipation by turning your date’s attention toward your mouth. Put on some chapstick or lipstick while you’re chatting to get their mind racing.^{[11]
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- This is a more subtle way to hint at kissing, and not everyone will get the message. You should follow up with a direct question to make sure, like, “Do you want to kiss me?” or, “Can I kiss you now?”

10

Step in toward them to get closer.

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You can ask for a kiss with your body language if you’re confident enough. If you’re saying goodbye to your date, step in closer to them to signal that you’re going in for a kiss.^{[12]
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- If your date keeps making eye contact with you and doesn’t step away, they’re probably open for a kiss.
- If your date takes a step backward or won’t meet your eyes, back off a little.
- The best way to avoid confusion is to ask with your words. If you aren’t sure what your date wants, just ask!

11

Send a text before you see them.

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You can get a feel for their comfort levels through a flirty text. Try sending a message that tells them how much you want to kiss them, then see if they respond well. For example:^{[13]
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- “I just bought some new lipstick. Fancy a taste?”
- “I really wish I was kissing you right now.”
- “I want to kiss you.”

Join the Discussion...

Should I ask to kiss her or just do it?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

If you're absolutely sure the other person wants to kiss you and you’re confident enough to lean in and kiss them, they may see you as a confident person who doesn't mind taking the lead. Those early encounters are about the newness, and when someone is assertive, it can be exciting, as long as it feels good for both people.

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Tips

If the answer is no, it’s okay. Take it in stride and try not to be offended. There will be plenty of other opportunities for you to kiss people!

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