Do you ever feel like you’re not living up to the standard your partner sets? Are you wondering if you’re the kind of person your partner needs? If you’re worried that you might not be “enough”—we’re here to give you the honest truth.
Answer these questions, and we’ll give you an honest outside perspective on whether or not you’re the right person for him. After, we’ll tell you why you feel that way, and give you plenty of tips to stop that feeling in its tracks.
Questions Overview
- Super easy.
- Pretty easy.
- Not very easy.
- I can't or don't talk to him.
- I'm not super social.
- I'm sort of high maintenance.
- I don't think I'm very interesting.
- I can be a little selfish.
- I'm a great listener.
- I put in the effort needed to make a relationship a success.
- I'm a great communicator.
- I don't know.
- Never.
- A small one.
- A big one.
- Yes, many.
- Yes, some.
- Not really.
- I don't know.
- I've had multiple relationships.
- I've had 1 or 2 relationships.
- I've never dated anyone.
- No, I'm fine the way I am.
- There are maybe some small things.
- There are some big things I'd change.
- No
- Maybe
- Yes
- Not at all.
- A little bit.
- I do feel a bit jealous, yeah.
- As someone they can trust.
- As someone interesting to watch out for.
- As just another acquaintance, or a stranger.
- I don't think most people know I exist.
- Trusting others.
- Telling others how I feel.
- Feeling confident in myself.
- Understanding how others feel.
- Yes. I like it when other people are happy.
- Sort of. My own happiness is important too, though.
- Not really. My own needs come first.
More Quizzes
Being Enough
Every relationship comes with questions and uncertainties. Sometimes, it’s hard not to compare yourself to your partner, or to think they’re better than you, and start asking yourself if you really deserve them. When you struggle with self-esteem, it’s easy to feel like you don’t deserve things like love or a relationship. Other people seem out of reach, and you can sometimes feel like they shouldn’t be wasting their time on you. But that’s not true! In fact, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone’s got baggage, but everyone is also worthy of love and respect, and deserves to be happy with someone who makes them happy.
Why do I feel like I’m not enough for him?
Usually, these feelings stem from insecurity or low self-esteem. You look at your partner with appreciation and admiration, but you don’t give yourself that same appreciation, even though you deserve it just as much. This insecurity may be a long-term issue you’ve had for a while, or it may be something new to the relationship. In any case, you’re comparing yourself to him, when that isn’t fair to either of you. He chose you, so he sees the goodness in you that you don’t see.
So, how can you start believing that you’re all that? Here are some ways to start:
Remind yourself of what you have to offer.
What are you good at? What are your talents, your skills? When you have something you can be proud of, it becomes much easier to see your own value. And if you’re thinking, “I don’t have any skills or talents,” we guarantee that’s not true! Are you kind? Patient? A good listener? Respectful? Encouraging? Empathetic? These are all vital qualities in a romantic partner, and they go a long, long way!
- If you feel comfortable, ask your partner why they like you. They’ll probably have some good answers that you might never have thought of before!
Remind yourself that they’re flawed, too.
When you’re pining after someone, or even in love, it’s easy to put them on a pedestal. After all, you’re seeing things through heart-shaped glasses. But they’re a person, too, and that means they’ve got their own flaws and shortcomings. It’s important to see them as a real person, not just to temper your expectations, but to give them the respect and consideration they deserve, and recognize them as a complex being, just like you are. If you knew your crush struggled with their own self-esteem, would you love them any less? No! So why should they want you any less?
Reciprocate the effort.
Once you’re in a relationship, or even before, the final key is to give what you get. If they’re going all-out to make you feel spoiled and loved, do the same for them! Or, show them the amount of love you want to be shown, to help them see what you need. It might take some practice to find a balance, but it’s all about telling them that they’re worth it, just like you are.
Ask yourself if they’re enough for you.
If you’re chasing after someone who won’t give you the time of day, or dating someone who makes you feel like you’re not the complete package, then it could be that you’re focusing your attention on the wrong person. You deserve someone who makes you happy, and who you enjoy being with. If you don’t, it might be time to consider that you might be happier with someone else. And trust us—someone else is out there!
Do something for your partner that only you can do.
Remind yourself of your own value by doing something kind for him. If you’re a great cook, cook him an excellent meal. If you’re a fabulous artist, make him something beautiful. If there are things you both love doing together, like hitting the museum or going on a run, suggest you do them soon. When you remember why your relationship works and what you bring to the table, you feel more confident.
Follow the 3-6-9 rule.
This rule states that you shouldn’t make any big relationship decisions or have sex until 3, 6, or 9 months into the relationship, depending on your comfort level. It helps you get to know your partner better and take things slow, so that you don’t feel like you’re chasing to catch up to him, or that you’ve made some big mistake by starting the relationship and moving too fast.
Follow the 70/30 rule.
The 70/30 rule says that couples should spend 70% of their time together and 30% of their time apart. This helps you grow closer while still staying independent and leading your own lives. If you have your own life, you’ll stop feeling dependent on your partner for validation, and start to understand that you bring a whole lot to the table.
Want to learn more?
For more information about healthy relationships, check out these resources:
Reader Success Stories
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"I like how it felt honest; if you weren't enough for him, they would tell you. It was also generally very helpful. The quiz itself wasn't exactly fun; I'd say it was more helpful, but it certainly wasn't unfun."..." more
